"What happens when you commit to one question a day for an entire year?We found out, and it changed everything."

The Couple Who Stopped Talking

Alexie and Marcus had been together for seven years when they realized something unsettling: they had nothing new to say to each other.

Not because they'd run out of things to discuss, but because their conversations had become predictable routines. Morning coffee chats about schedules. Evening debriefs about work stress. Weekend planning sessions that felt more like business meetings than quality time.

"We weren't fighting," Alexie explained. "We were just... existing in the same space. We'd become roommates who occasionally held hands."

At Lay It Flat, we believe the right book at the right time can transform relationships. Alexie's story with "A Year of Us: A Couple's Journal" perfectly captures this mission. Her journey shows how a simple daily practice can turn mundane routines into meaningful connections, one question at a time.

The Wake-Up Call at Dinner

The moment of clarity came during what should have been a romantic anniversary dinner.

Alexie and Marcus sat across from each other at their favorite restaurant, the same place where Marcus had proposed three years earlier. The waiter had just taken their orders when an uncomfortable silence settled over the table.

"We both reached for our phones at the same time," Alexie recalled. "That's when it hit me. We were on an anniversary date, and we had nothing to talk about."

Marcus felt it too. Later that evening, he admitted he'd been worried about their communication for months but didn't know how to address it without sounding critical or starting an argument.

"I love this person," Alexie thought to herself. "But when did we stop being curious about each other?"

The Search for Connection

Alexie's approach to solving problems has always been methodical. As a project manager by profession, she started researching solutions the same way she'd tackle a work challenge: with data, reviews, and a clear goal.

She spent weeks exploring options. Couples therapy felt too formal for what they needed. Relationship books offered advice but no practical framework. Date night conversation cards seemed forced and artificial.

"I wanted something that felt natural, not like homework," Alexie said. "But I also needed structure because clearly, leaving it up to chance wasn't working."

That's when she discovered couples journals, specifically ones designed around daily questions. The concept appealed to her: bite-sized moments of connection rather than grand gestures or dramatic interventions.

Finding "A Year of Us"

Among dozens of options, "A Year of Us: A Couple’s Journal" stood out for several practical reasons.

The format was simple: one question per day for 365 days. No elaborate prompts requiring an hour of contemplation. No therapy-speak that might make Marcus uncomfortable. Just straightforward questions designed to spark genuine conversation.

"The questions ranged from lighthearted to deep," Alexie noted. "Some days it would be 'What's your favorite memory from this month?' Other days: 'What fear have you never told me about?' That variety felt realistic."

The spiral binding caught her attention immediately. She'd tried journaling together before with a traditional hardcover that kept snapping shut.

"When you're both trying to write in the same book, you need it to stay flat. The spiral binding meant we could actually use it without fighting with the pages."

But what really sold her was the structure: opening reflections at the beginning of the year and closing reflections at the end. It wasn't just about answering questions. It was about tracking growth.

The First Month: Awkward but Hopeful

January 1st marked the beginning of their experiment. Alexie and Marcus agreed on a simple rule: answer one question together every evening before bed, taking turns writing in the journal.

The first week felt forced.

"We were self-conscious," Alexie admitted. "It felt artificial to sit down and deliberately have a conversation prompted by a book. Marcus joked that we'd become the kind of couple who needed a manual for talking."

Day 3's question was: "What's something small that made you happy today?" Marcus wrote about the way their dog had fallen asleep with his head on Marcus's lap during a work call. Alexie wrote about the barista at their coffee shop remembering her order.

"Reading his answer, I realized I hadn't known about that moment with the dog. We'd been in the same house all day, but I'd missed it completely."

By week two, the awkwardness started fading. The questions became conversation starters rather than assignments. One question about childhood memories led to a two-hour discussion about their families, revealing stories they'd never shared.

"I learned that Marcus had wanted to be a marine biologist as a kid. Seven years together, and I'd never known that."

Six Months In: The Rhythm Changes Everything

By July, the journal had become as routine as brushing their teeth. But unlike most routines, this one never felt boring.

"The questions evolved with us," Alexie explained. "Early questions about favorites and preferences gave way to deeper ones about values, fears, and dreams. It felt like the journal was growing alongside our relationship."

What surprised Alexie most was how their answers changed over time. In March, Marcus wrote that work stress was his biggest concern. By June, his answer to a similar question had shifted to worries about his aging parents.

"We started going back and rereading earlier entries. It was like having a record of our emotional journey. We could see patterns, growth, and changes we wouldn't have noticed otherwise."

The journal also became their tool for conflict resolution, though that hadn't been the original intention. After a tense disagreement about finances, that evening's question was: "What do you need from me when you're stressed?"

"It forced us to address the underlying issue instead of just moving on and pretending everything was fine," Alexie said. "The question created space for honesty we might not have had otherwise."

The Unexpected Benefits

Around month eight, Alexie noticed changes beyond their conversations.

They'd started referencing the journal in daily life. When making decisions, they'd recall what the other person had written about their values or goals. The journal had become a shared reference point for understanding each other.

"Marcus mentioned wanting to travel more in one of his answers. Months later, when planning our vacation, I remembered that and suggested we be more adventurous than our usual beach resort routine. We ended up hiking in Colorado, something we never would have done before."

Friends noticed the difference too. At a dinner party, someone commented on how Alexie and Marcus seemed more "in sync" than other couples.

"We weren't finishing each other's sentences or anything cliché like that," Alexie laughed. "But we were more attuned to each other. I understood his perspective better, and he understood mine."

The physical journal itself became meaningful. Unlike digital apps or conversation cards that disappear after use, this was a permanent record.

"We were creating an artifact of our relationship. Years from now, we'll be able to look back and remember exactly what we were thinking and feeling during this year."

The Closing Reflections: Measuring Growth

December 31st arrived faster than Alexie expected. The final section of the journal included closing reflections: questions designed to look back on the year's journey.

"How has your relationship changed?" "What did you learn about your partner?" "What surprised you most?"

Sitting together to complete these final pages felt ceremonial. They'd started the year as a couple struggling to connect. They were ending it as partners who understood each other on a fundamentally deeper level.

"The most powerful moment was reading Marcus's answer to 'What did this journal mean to you?'" Alexie said, her voice catching. "He wrote that it made him feel known. After seven years together, he'd worried that we'd said everything there was to say. But this journal proved there's always more to discover."

For Alexie, the journal had provided something she didn't even know she needed: a framework for intentional connection.

"We'd gotten lazy. Not because we didn't love each other, but because life got in the way. This journal made checking in with each other non-negotiable. It took five minutes a day, but the impact was immeasurable."

What Alexie Learned About Long-Term Relationships

Looking back on their 365-day experiment, Alexie's most significant insight was about the nature of relationships themselves.

"People think relationships are about the big moments: proposals, weddings, anniversaries. But they're actually built on thousands of tiny moments of connection. This journal forced us to create one of those moments every single day."

She also learned that growth isn't always dramatic. It's often gradual, almost invisible, until you look back and realize how far you've come.

"We didn't have a miraculous transformation. We didn't solve all our problems or suddenly become the perfect couple. But we became more curious about each other. We started treating our relationship as something that deserves daily attention, not just crisis management."

Practical Wisdom for Other Couples

When asked what she'd tell couples considering the journal, Alexie's advice is refreshingly honest.

"Don't expect it to fix a broken relationship. This isn't therapy. But if you're in a solid relationship that's gotten stale, or if you want to deepen your connection, it's incredibly effective."

She recommends setting a specific time each day rather than trying to fit it in whenever possible.

"Make it a ritual. We did ours right before bed, which became our wind-down time. That consistency mattered."

About the format itself, Alexie emphasizes the importance of the spiral binding.

"You're both trying to read and write in the same book. The ability to lay it completely flat meant we could sit side by side comfortably. Small detail, huge impact on usability."

Her most important advice? Be honest, even when it's uncomfortable.

"Some questions made us squirm. But those were usually the most valuable ones. If you're going to do this, commit to real answers, not the sanitized versions you think your partner wants to hear."

One Year Later: The Ongoing Impact

Alexie and Marcus completed their year-long journal experiment in December. It's now several months into the new year, and the journal sits on their bookshelf, a tangible reminder of their journey.

They've started a second journal.

"We couldn't stop," Alexie explained. "We'd gotten so used to our daily check-in that it felt wrong not to continue. The questions are different now, some we've even started writing ourselves, but the practice remains."

The original journal has become something they treasure. They've flipped through it during tough weeks, reminding themselves of their connection. They've shared favorite entries with each other on random Tuesday evenings. They've even talked about saving it for their future children.

"This isn't just a journal. It's proof that we chose each other, every single day, for 365 days. That means something."

Your Turn to Rediscover Each Other

Alexie and Marcus's story reminds us that relationships thrive on intentional connection. The everyday moments matter more than the grand gestures. The daily questions accumulate into a profound understanding.

If you're feeling like roommates instead of partners, or if you simply want to deepen an already strong connection, their experience shows what's possible when you commit to showing up, one question at a time.

The spiral-bound format that made such a difference in Alexie's daily practice isn't just a design choice. It's a practical feature that supports real-world use, making it easier for couples to engage together without fighting with pages or awkward positioning.

Ready to start your own 365-day experiment in connection? Explore "A Year of Us: A Couple's Journal" and discover how one daily question can transform your relationship from mundane to meaningful.

Because sometimes the smallest practices create the biggest changes.